Fat Camp?

Yes, it’s true I am attending fat camp. As of July 4th-July 18th I will be at Camp Shane’s program for young adults in California. To say I am nervous would be the understatement of the century.  I’m not afraid of whether or not people will like me; at 21 and after the Reddit fiasco I’ve realized that I don’t really care what people think. I know I’m a good, decent, caring human being and that is enough for me.

What I am terrified of is flying down to California on my own. Besides the fact that I don’t like flying although to be fair I’ve only been on a plane one other time in my life. I’m preparing for the worst and by the worst I mean having to sit next to a complete jerk.

I am fat and being fat making many thing unpleasant including flying. I know I will need a seat belt extension and that’s fine I will ask for one. I may have to buy an extra seat, I hope not but I might and I will not make a scene if asked to. However, if I end up sitting next to someone who is rude and disrespectful it would not be a pleasant flight. Mainly because I am over being treated poorly simply because of my weight. I am a human being and I have the same right as anyone else to fly on a plane. I’m just praying that the flight goes smoothly and that I don’t get too lost in LAX.

Now I know what most people are probably wondering, “Rachel, you are in recovery why would you go to weight loss camp?” First let ma make something very clear, I am not going to lose weight. Rather I am going to get into shape, to learn new ways to exercise and to find ways to do joyful movement without hurting myself.

I am also going to learn portion control. something I struggled with up until my last day in treatment. I also need to learn healthier choices. For the past month of so my intake of fast food and take out has become ridiculous and my body has actually begun to reject it, literally. I think it may be because of my acid reflex but whatever the reason throwing up is not fun especially when it’s once or twice a week.

So I will go to camp Shane, a weight loss camp to better myself. The truth of the matter is that I will most likely lose weight. When your body is not at your natural set point it’s bound to happen. But even if I do, the amount doesn’t matter. I could lost fifty pounds or five. I don’t care because what truly matters is changing my life for the better.

Peace&Love,

Rai

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About railynnt

This is my blog, a place where I can share my writing and journey through recovery, mental illness, and life.
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