My Fear of Flying

I use to be scared of flying on an airplane because of 9/11 and all the other stories of planes crashing whether because of humans or mechanical errors. Now in scared because I’m fat.  I remember the first time I ever flew on a plane. I was sixteen and my family and I were traveling to Las Vegas for a vacation. Minus the fact that it was over 100 degrees every day, much hotter that we from the PNW are used to, it was a great time.

Although I admit I was nervous about how my weight might affect our trip. I was most fearful that I would not fit in the airplane seat and that I would be unable to buckle my seat belt. I of course ended up fitting just fine but I was a considerably smaller then. Now I’m not sure.

It’s official I am enrolled into Pratt Institute in New York and will be starting in the fall. (As long as financial aid and loans work out, God willing.) All I have left to do is pay the $300 housing deposit. So logically I will be flying to New York. And honestly? I’m more terrified of being seated to an ignorant asshole that will get me kicked off the plane because I make them “uncomfortable”  than of going to a school in a state I’ve never been to or even near. In fact, I’ve never actually left the west coast.

Some of you might think, “that would never happen!” or “The flight attendants would never let that happen!” but it happens all the time! Many airlines have rules about it even. Where if their is no free seat they kick the fat person off the plan.

If that were to happen to me I would without a doubt cry out of embarrassment and then anger. Especially because most likely no other passenger would probably stand with me. Most would and do stay quiet.

Before September I would of thought that things like that only happen to other fat people but since being publicly humiliated by a complete stranger (Which you can read about here.) simply because of my weight while at work I don’t doubt anything.

People don’t like people don’t fit into their molds and I don’t, literally. Yes, anyone can be discriminated against but if you’re the typical thin, white person you’re less likely to be attacked in such a way.

I’m scared.

Peace&Love,

Rai

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About railynnt

This is my blog, a place where I can share my writing and journey through recovery, mental illness, and life.
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