Mondays

I woke up this morning with a migraine,

And the wind felt like it could blow me away,

The moon rose that night and I felt it reflect on my skin though my window,

My ears buzzed and vision swirled,

My salt lamp flickered,

Is this what it’s like to be tired?

 

I stretched out on my cot and wondered what it meant to be alive,

Is it waking up and wondering if your life your living is just dream?

Expecting to wake up to a different world,

Where your circumstances are more level?

 

Where the sky doesn’t seem as dark,

And the crisp feeling in the autumn air last longer than a month,

There’s no being privileged or not there’s just breathing,

 

Growing up you wouldn’t have to worry about boys picking on you because they “liked” you,

Or kids pulling on your spiral curls,

You wouldn’t have to hold a washcloth to your chest in the shower each night,

Praying that God would shrink your breast,

There would be an understanding that everyone’s differences are what make the world so full of color,

 

My roommate comes home and I’m reminded that I’m not in a different world,

But for a brief moment I was floating,

But now I realize I’m at school probably sleeping too little and not eating enough fruit and vegetables,

My body is on a fat people hate site where I’m criticized for the size of my fingers,

And everything else you can think to nitpick about,

My work is lacking and I’m not sure where to go,

 

As my ring twirls around my chubby fingers I dread going to class tomorrow,

Mondays,

But there are somethings you just can’t change.

 

Peace&Love,

Rai

 

 

 

 

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About railynnt

This is my blog, a place where I can share my writing and journey through recovery, mental illness, and life.
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